This test shot by Miguel Starcevich was taken in early 2010. I’ve always liked black and white, I love the angle it’s shot from, the confusing addition of the toy trucks, the awkward position of my arms, and the fact my bum looks good. It’s dark and sexy and always received great feedback when it was included in my portfolio.
I also love, as with many photographs, that the final result reveals nothing of the reality of taking the image. At this point in time I was laid on dirty, cold, concrete, in a fire escape, in the courtyard of a residential block in Hollywood. We had no permission, no permit, families were wandering through as we shot and I would cringe every time a mum shielded her child’s eyes. I can’t tell you how unsexy I felt, arching until it hurt, elbows scraping the wall, edge of the hard step stuck in my side, arm muscles starting to shake, face paralyzed as Miguel shouts, “don’t move, this looks great!” Blinded by the sun I was straining to look up at him without squinting let alone giving off my “bedroom eyes,” was he sure this looked great? As I moved through poses I was busy assessing the various stains I was rolling around in, trying to avoid getting chewing gum in my hair, wondering again what the Tonka trucks were for, and finding the steps that smelt the least of pee. But, I’m in love with how it turned out.
As I’ve had to say many times, modeling is not as glamourous as it seems, I’m lucky to have traveled to exotic, beautiful, five star locations, but the majority of photo shoots take place in much grittier environments. My first ever job was shot in a graveyard in Stoke Newington and I stepped barefoot on a used condom, so I learned this early on. In my opinion though, there is something to be said for creating beautiful images in a raw or ugly location. It can be easy to make a girl look good on a beach in Hawaii but in an alley covered in trash it takes a little more thinking. Plus a model who’s up for anything. This remains one of my favourite modeling shots and it was taken in one of the most uncomfortable places. It always makes me smile, and want to take a shower.
meat puppet 